As a recovering junk food addict, it’s still a process figuring out what/when/how much to eat every day. I was never really a healthy person until the beginning of this year, and I’m still learning day by day what it actually means to be “healthy”. Nineteen years of bad habits are hard to break, my friends. I am not an expert by any means, but I have gotten so much better about watching what I eat and knowing how it will affect my body. However, before every meal I still seem to have the same struggles. Let me set the scene for you.
Pacing back and forth between my refrigerator and the pantry, frantically scanning/logging everything into MyFitnessPal as if my life depends on it, sweating nervously because I’m 1% over my carb intake for the day… This is normal. Here are just a few thoughts that race through my mind as I make these life-altering meal choices:
Protein… Protein… I need more protein!
Is it appropriate to eat 5 eggs in one day?
If eat a banana now, I’ll be over in my carbs for the day… Am I willing to take that risk?
Where the heck did I put my measuring cup? I HAVE TO HAVE EXACTLY ONE CUP OF CEREAL.
How did I rack up this many carbs today?!
Gotta count out the almonds… 1… 2… 3…
I’ll only have 760 calories for a snack and dinner if I eat that apple…. Mmmm, better not.
How many ounces of turkey is in one slice? … To Google!
Is butter a carb?
Okay, maybe that last one wasn’t real, but all of the other ones are actual thoughts that have invaded my brain whilst making a meal.
It is nothing short of a struggle to change your diet after building bad habits for so long. The amount of time I spend preparing and logging my food could easily be spent just going to the Drive-Thru and calling it a day, but I make the conscious choice to fuel my body with what it needs rather than what my mind wants. It’s not easy, and it definitely takes practice. Believe me, every time I drive by In-N-Out or Whataburger, it takes everything I have to not pull in and order one of everything on the menu. Like I said, I’m a recovering addict.
And yes, I do admit that sometimes I go a little overboard on the whole logging-every-morsel-of-food-that-goes-down-my-throat thing (Examples of some ridiculous entries: 1 gummy bear, 1/10 tsp Nutella, 2 grapes, you get the picture), but that’s just because I need to start eating mindfully for once in my life. I would always walk to the pantry so mindlessly and grab something (most likely super processed or super carb-y) without even thinking about it. If I start thinking about everything I eat, my diet will become much more intentional and food will serve the purpose it was meant to (instead of being a crutch or a social event like it had been for me for so long).
My life was forever changed when I made the decision to start living a healthier life, but I have had to work so hard to get to the point of not giving in to what my mind wants. I have to be 100% intentional on making myself better. Being healthy isn’t a goal that you achieve and it’s done; it’s just a day by day struggle that I’m trying to get through. And I know for a fact that I’m not alone in that.
Don’t let food be your enemy. Don’t let your diet rule your entire life. Make responsible choices, and you’ll be so proud of yourself that you won’t want that feeling to stop. There is no better feeling in the world than when you walk away from that Barbecue having only eaten the veggies on the veggie tray and NOT the greasy potato chips and cookies that took up most of the snack table. Pat yourself on the back every time you make wise health choices, and the confidence you build from that will reflect in how you make future choices.
All that being said, I feel like this blog had no central point except that (and excuse me for the High School Musical quote) “We’re All In This Together”, and that if these struggles are taking over your life and making you miserable, find someone to help you through because I can guarantee someone’s been where you have. Health isn’t easy, and we’re all just trying to figure it out together.
halliray 