Super personal alert. I know no one is going to read this, but I am posting it on the internet so who knows?
So much has changed in these past two years in my own personal life and in my family’s life. Divorce, a new marriage (two actually), new relationships, new houses, and many other changes personally. If you would have told me two years ago everything about my life today, I would have absolutely laughed in your face.
My life used to be super simple. Like, almost perfect status. Great family, super involved in school, a boyfriend here and there. My biggest problems in life only had to do with school, like getting a B on a chemistry test, God forbid. Then, junior year hit and somehow everything went to shit. School/college decisions began to creep up on me, All- State Choir auditions stressed me out (which turned out well, thank God), I had a lead in the musical (which also turned out well), and then, all of a sudden… my family broke apart.
My dad left in April of 2013. He moved to Fort Worth, leaving just my mom and I in our house on Dobree. We were all shocked. I still had hope that my dad would come back though. My parents went to therapy. My mom was really trying. The end of my junior year had so many good things attached to it: my first prom, my first trip to New York, and so many exciting things. All of them were made just a little bit awkward by my parent’s “split” (not yet a divorce). I would see my dad in the evenings when we would meet at Cotton Patch or some other local restaurant, but only then. It was hard, but my mom and I somehow managed. The day before the last day of my junior year, my mom sat in my room (which was now my sister’s room because my room was under construction from water damage- which I take as a metaphor for my family falling apart as well as my physical house). She told me that my dad stopped trying and that the divorce was going to be final soon. The cherry on top of a wonderful year.
I started my senior year of high school off with divorced parents. My dad moved to Mansfield to be closer to me. I think all year I went to his apartment three times. It was just too hard. It just sucked so much because I based what love was on my parents because for 23 years, they appeared so happily married. They never fought or were cross towards each other. All of sudden, it was just over. I just never knew why. And a year and a half later, with my dad married and my mom with a serious boyfriend, I still don’t know why.
I drove by my “old” house yesterday (God it feels weird to say that), and boy it was weird. I parked in my spot and just kind of sat there for a second. I took a moment and thanked the house for the memories and hoped that it would give the next family who moved in just as much joy as it gave me. I then drove around Mansfield for a bit, reliving memories of all kinds. The spot where I had my first date ever, Trio’s Pizza and Pasta. *cringe* Purple Berri, where I had many a date. Jimmy John’s, where I had many study dates and also rekindled a love in that parking lot. Willie Pigg auditorium, where I performed at on so many occasions. The whole time I kept thinking, I don’t live here anymore. I never would have thought my life and my family’s life would turn out the way it has… And it’s only going to continue to change.
So many things have changed in my life in a very short amount of time. Nothing is better, nothing is worse. It’s all just… different.
halliray 